2012年1月31日星期二

Can you give me your opinions.?

Heres a little poem/song I wrote at the beginning of the year, and I just want to get some feedback on it. Its called The Stained Emerald, and its about the troubles in the north of Ireland.





A young girl walks all alone


Down a street, now a warzone


Her long black hair covers her face


Her school uniform remains in place


In her hand she holds a cross


The cause behind, what is this loss


Hiding nothing, she opens her eyes


Icy blue, they tell no lies


A cool wind blows, though only weak


She opens her mouth and begins to speak





Who am I to survive


Thousands dead, yet I'm alive


The emerald has been forever stained


The blood of many, that has been drained


The whistles play, with the voilins strings


Guns run rampid, while the church choir sings





By now her eyes have lost all life


Cold to the pain, sorrow and strife


Her pale skin shivers in the wind


A holy war, tainted by sin


She walks to the church, her body so weak


She opens her mouth and begins to speak





Who am I to survive


Thousands dead, yet I'm alive


The emerald has been forever stained


The blood of many, that has been drained


The whistles play, with the voilins strings


Guns run rampid, while the church choir sings





North, South, East and West


All assume to be the best


I am right, you are wrong


This is how, history has gone





A woman walks all alone


Down what was a warzone


Her long black hair covers her face


Her black trenchcoat remains in place


In her hand now joins another


A child, now she is a mother


hiding nothing she opens her eyes


Icy blue, they tell no lies


A cool wind blows, though only weak


She opens her mouth and begins to speak





I am one to survive


Thousands dead, yet I'm alive


The emerald has been forever stained


The blood of many, that has been drained


The whistles play, with the voilins strings


Theres silence now, while the church choir sings





漏 Se谩n Moloney 2009Can you give me your opinions.?
that's rely wow i write poetry to im no-were near as good as youCan you give me your opinions.?
i think that is amazing i don't know why made me decide t read i don't usually read things like this but im happy i did. keep it up

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