Help with my story please!?

okay so i have the antagonist, and my two protagonists, and i am having issues with what the antagonist should do. Here is a description of him. Also if you could give me your input on the characters that would be great.





Matthew Ross


Age: 255 (23)


Height: Taller, 5’10”- 6’


Skin tone: Very pale


Hair: Dark Brown


Eyes: Deep red


Face: Harder, but still handsome


Body type: Thinner, but more defined muscles than Damien.


Significant qualities: Vampire


Characteristics/History: when he was younger he was very introverted. After he was changed he became very extroverted. Since he was born it was obvious that he was different. He was often found talking to himself or would lose his temper with people for no reason. He was often cruel to the other children when they tried to get close to him. His parents became very frustrated with him and became very strict towards him. The only who seemed to accept him was his brother Damien. Matthew’s metal illness became more prominent after he was changed, but yet he seemed to be more aware of his actions.





I can't quite decide what i want him to do to cause conflict in the story. I don't want it to be anything too extreme, but yet i can't think of anything that big enough. I don't want my story to be strict, ';good vs. evil'; any ideas would be greatly appreciated.





Here are my protagonists if that helps. They do not become lovers, just good friends.





Evelyn Shay


Age: 18


Height: Short, 5’2”-5’4”


Skin tone: pale, but healthy


Hair: shoulder length, layered, black


Eyes: Ice blue


Face: oval, classic beauty


Body type: medium build, not fat, not skinny either. Curvy.


Significant qualities: Witch


Characteristics/History: Very introverted. She is very hard on the outside and has trust issues because of the loss of her mother when she was 14. When her mother died she was left alone to fend for herself. Before her mother died, she taught her everything that she knew about witch craft. After her mother died, she studied almost constantly, and is now one of the most powerful witches of her time. She doesn't use the magic as much as should could though, only in extreme circumstances. She feels as though using it in everyday life for everything would be kind of like cheating. She does still practice her magic, but doesn't use it to do everyday tasks.





Damien Ross


Age: 251 (19)


Height: Average, 5’7”-5’9”


Skin tone: Very pale.


Hair: Dark, sandy blond, Short modern


Eyes: Deep red,


Face: Sophisticated, slightly angular


Body type: Medium build, muscular, but not overly so.


Significant qualities: Vampire


Characteristics/History: Extroverted. He has a strong sense of responsibility for his brother. Playful. He enjoys his life, and treats being a vampire as a gift rather than a curse. He feeds on humans, but refuses to kill anyone. He was born in 1758 to a poor farming family in America. He was basically the only one in his family who accepted his brother for his mental disabilities. He was changed by his brother when he was 19 in 1777. After living over 200 years he has developed a keen sense of reading people. (not mind reading) He meets Evelyn when she is being attacked by his brother Matthew. Because his brother made him, he is able to sense when he is near.








PS: please don't tell me the vampire thing is over done, i have heard it all already and i don't care. Also don't tell me my characters are like Twilight, because i have read the books and i know that they are not.





Thanks for any help!Help with my story please!?
One word that comes to mind here:








Twilight.Help with my story please!?
I love your characters! And you are not copying Twilight. Sorry... I don't know about the plot. But since you seem to have well developed characters maybe think of what genre you want to do and other little things like the setting before the plot.
why are girls in love with vampires? While reading this i thought i was reading the back of twilight. There is way better books out there. Hemmingway, Palinuk, Stephin King.





READ SOMETHING GOOD
That sounds really good. It seems like you have been developing your characters well. I want to read more :)
Okay, well, since he's teh antagonist, he's the main bad guy. He's the one that causes all of the problems, he's the one the protagonist has to defeat.


I'm not sure if you have a plot or not, but you should. I think you need to come up with the plot before the characters, because your characters have to be suited for the plot, and its also much harder to fit a plot around characters. Is there a reason that your antagonist is a vampire... or did you just throw that in there? what does being a vampire add to your plot? to your character? could your book be written without the bad guy being a vampire? These are just some questions I think you should ask yourself. It may help you come up with a conflict.





do you have any other antagonists? I'm just wondering, because you said that you don't want him to cause any action that's too extreme. So is he just a subplot, or does the central conflict revolve around him and his brother fighting? If the latter is true, then it needs to be extreme. I'm not saying ';blow up the world'; extreme, but it does need to grab your readers attention and keep them itnerested throughout the whole book. You have to make it seem like the protagonist won''t succeed, that there's no way for him to succeed.





Okay, I asked more questions in there than I answered, :) but hopefully I gave you some things to think about or some ideas. I don't think I could tell you what type of conflict you should have because its your book, you'll have to spend a ton of time writing it, and no one on here knows what you'd like to write about.





Next part of your question (I know, this is going to be a long answer)





The characters. they're very well developed from my point of view. You've got personalities, and not just physical characteristics (like so many other people on here have) so that's really good :)


One thing though. You don't list on here why. Why is the antagonist introverted before he's changed? why is he extroverted after? there have to be reasons to these things. I suggest going through your character profiles and asking why at every sentence. If you have an answer, good, then move on. if you don't, come up with one, write it down, and then move on to the next sentence. This will help develop your characters background and maybe even help you think up a conflict.





Okay, I'm done. I hope I could help. I know, I didn't really answer your question, but I tried to steer you in the direction of your answer. I'm not sure if I made much sense, its pretty late here, but again, i tried :)





Good luck and happy conflict developing/writing :)
Maybe you could have the antagonist reveal that he secretly trapped and entombed some girl they both loved and knew (another vampire) from way back in the past, and he's planning to dig her up now and use her to destroy Damien's current relationship. But he doesn't know how her attitude will be after being trapped for centuries, and although she was a good girl when he entombed her, she may be very angry and evil now.





Or...





There's some amulet in the Middle East that would enable them to exist in the sunlight (or prevent them from sleeping at night or something) and Damien is trying to find it, and Matthew is chasing him and his girlfriend across the world trying to beat them to the discovery to use for his own evil purposes. During the chase, they all end up in a cargo plane that is damaged during flight and is going to crash in the desert during a sandstorm...





(Best I could do on short notice...Good job with the story...keep up the good work...you'll be a great writer some day...)