Serious Problem.....?

So recently I have gained some weight. Mainly in my leg/*** area. Even though this makes me look sexy I have one serious problem.





Increased friction.





Im not talking rashes here, this is a far more serious and annoying problem. The increased friction has caused my *** hair to constantly mangle and tangle. My asshole is growing dreadlocks.





Problems as a result of this tangling issue include but are not limited to:





-bits and bobs becoming intertwined in the *** dreadlocks; including fecal matter, bits of tissue, lint from my boxers.





- consistant twisting of hair that leads to the wrenching and pulling of my delicate skin in my nether regions.





- when i wipe after defecating the twisted braids act as razor blades shredding the toilet paper and leaving my hand smelly.





-the need to occasionally pull at my *** area to try and relive the pinching feeling caused by the wrenching of my *** mane.





- an unsatisfying pooping experience dude to an unsatisfactory cleaning job.





- getting my fingers caught in the ***-hair-jungle while trying to wash my anus-area during showering.





Now I know im not completely helpless here, I know there are options. A few that I've been rolling around in my head include:....





- shaving my asshole hair. This is an obvious one. Just kill the ******* right? Chop their damn heads off amirite? This will deff. solve it but create more problems that would more than likely result in embarrassment in any sort of group naked activity, or sexual encounter. I've heard that the sweat builds up, there is a complete loss of friction, and the leftover poop mixes with the sweat creating a smelly watery mess. NO BUENO JUAN (bebe leche caca pan)





-buy an *** comb.





-find a different brand of shampoo to use exclusively on my rectum. do they make an anti-matte soap?





-admit defeat and let the *** dreads flow, grow them to about knee length and take pictures to post on somb.





-trimming sounds like the best idea, but the thought of stabbing my self while trying to trim, or slipping, falling, and having sheers anally inserted is the main thing keeping me from performing this task.




















plz helpSerious Problem.....?
Get rid of the dreadlocks by shaving them away or wax them.Or use Nair for men:but do not leave it on to long:it will sting.


Then you need not go through this mess anymore


ColorsSerious Problem.....?
i don't fee like reading ANY of this, but since i'm in a mood to answer, i'm just going to post a completely different question and answer it myself





question:';who played drums in the band Metallica?';


answer: ';lars ulrich, he's actually been the drummer since they started out';