How can someone overcome what seems to be a borderline weight obsession?

I'm at a healthy weight now, according to my doctor, and my BMI is 19. I also wear a size zero, but I still feel disgusted with my body on occasion, even though I eat healthfully and make a huge point of exercising.





I've been both overweight, and anorexic, and some of my friends think that I sometimes suffer from a very slight case of exercise bulimia (very slight though, just to the point where I've canceled plans to exercise). I've also cut myself, suffered from insomnia, and I've suffered from clinical depression as well.





I think that my weight obsession most likely comes from my mother's earlier verbal abuse on my weight; she would constantly call me fat or ugly, and I was sent to a fat camp at a larger size six. Maybe I was an eight, I don't remember clearly, but I came back as a four, and this summer I've become a size zero. In fifth grade, she also told me that I could later use her surgeon to get breast implants, when I was out of high school. She then insinuated that I'd need them, or nobody would ever be attracted to me.





But also, I think my obsession with appearance comes from where I live. I live in Orange County, and people who aren't seen as attractive are openly taunted here, especially in lower-level schools. I myself was bullied a lot in eighth grade (I was at a new school), but even though I suffer from absolutely no bullying now (I'm actually quite popular at my high school), I don't know what to do. I'm not really close to a lot of people, although I have a lot of acquaintances, and I just feel like I'm in constant competition with other girls. I always compare myself to others, because other people have always done the same to me. I've talked to two psychologists before, but neither have helped. My parents are also more of a problem than anything, and I can't exactly leave here because I'm only fourteen. Does anybody have any advice for me? I want to get over this, but I can't leave this environment even though I think it may be slightly toxic.





And it's not that I don't think I'm not pretty, it's just that I still feel like I will never be pretty or good enough. I'm not anorexic now, and I'm exercising and eating healthy amounts, but I'm sad about where I am and what American society has done to everyone. Also, I'd just like to add in that my not being anorexic is more of a vanity thing; anorexia causes hair loss and such, whereas my strict diet and exercise plan is helping make me look better.





There is obviously something wrong with me. Can somebody give me some advice?How can someone overcome what seems to be a borderline weight obsession?
I think it is a fairly common thing, but not normal. I was bullied when I was younger, but was never ugly/overweight, they were probably jealous, but now, I am 18 and have some body issues (like most girls). I am 5'4 and 112lbs and think I'm fat, I have very controlled eating habits and run most days.


I think you're right about the weight obsession and where you live. Obviously it has got to your mum too, you were never fat, and she shouldn't raise the idea of plastic surgery at such a young age.


All I can suggest is that you try to be stronger than her, stay thin for your health and confidence, but remind yourself everyday that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!


You seem like a bit of a perfectionist too, but once again, where you live has had an effect on you. Just be the best you can be, and once you realise that there is no point wasting your life worrying about the little things, you will feel better :)


Don't give in to society. You are beautiful!





operationbeautiful.comHow can someone overcome what seems to be a borderline weight obsession?
My advice?





Get rid of your scale. Stop looking at everyone around you for answers to your weight. Does your doctor say you are healthy? If so, quit tripping!





I want you to wake up everyday and tell yourself, '; I am beautiful, I am healthy, and I the best I can ever be!';


Believe it!





If you cannot love yourself, no one will. You will always find someone prettier, smarter, more popular. Don't destroy your own sanity over this obsession.





Get some help. Talk to people you trust ( and not your mother), get help from a psychologist. You don't need boob implants or a knife, you need people that will love and care for you, no matter what.