How do I overcome weight obsession?

I'm at a healthy weight now, according to my doctor, and my BMI is 19. I also wear a size zero, but I still feel disgusted with my body on occasion, even though I eat healthfully and make a huge point of exercising.





I've been both overweight, and anorexic, and some of my friends think that I sometimes suffer from a very slight case of exercise bulimia (very slight though, just to the point where I've canceled plans to exercise). I've also cut myself, suffered from insomnia, and I've suffered from clinical depression as well.





I think that my weight obsession most likely comes from my mother's earlier verbal abuse on my weight; she would constantly call me fat or ugly, and I was sent to a fat camp at a larger size six. Maybe I was an eight, I don't remember clearly, but I came back as a four, and this summer I've become a size zero. In fifth grade, she also told me that I could later use her surgeon to get breast implants, when I was out of high school. She then insinuated that I'd need them, or nobody would ever be attracted to me.





But also, I think my obsession with appearance comes from where I live. I live in Orange County, and people who aren't seen as attractive are openly taunted here, especially in lower-level schools. I myself was bullied a lot in eighth grade (I was at a new school), but even though I suffer from absolutely no bullying now (I'm actually quite popular at my high school), I don't know what to do. I'm not really close to a lot of people, although I have a lot of acquaintances, and I just feel like I'm in constant competition with other girls. I always compare myself to others, because other people have always done the same to me. I've talked to two psychologists before, but neither have helped. My parents are also more of a problem than anything, and I can't exactly leave here because I'm only fourteen. Does anybody have any advice for me? I want to get over this, but I can't leave this environment even though I think it may be slightly toxic.





And it's not that I don't think I'm not pretty, it's just that I still feel like I will never be pretty or good enough. I'm not anorexic now, and I'm exercising and eating healthy amounts, but I'm sad about where I am and what American society has done to everyone. Also, I'd just like to add in that my not being anorexic is more of a vanity thing; anorexia causes hair loss and such, whereas my strict diet and exercise plan is helping make me look better.





There is obviously something wrong with me. Can somebody give me some advice?How do I overcome weight obsession?
You poor thing , I really feel for you and I know exactly what you are going through . I have been there and it is crap . I live in Malibu and i comparing myself with everyone all the time.





You sound like you are in great shape but it sounds like you are suffering from Body morphic disorder [ same thing i have] you under eat and over exercise . I have been having Cognitive behavior therpy and it has really helped me ,check it out .





I really wish you all the best