Can you please proof read my article?

It's for my american Lit class. Final Draft is due tomorrow, but I want to make sure I didn't mess anything up. It's on beauty and how the way the media portrays it to be, also on how it's affecting women's self-esteem. thanks! :)











What is beauty? The answer to this question is different with every person asked, and the definition of the word is changing more and more every day. Beauty is defined as “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.” However, this definition doesn’t seem to fit as much as it should in today’s world of advertisements.


We are living in an ad filled society, and every day we see thousands of them on television and magazines that show for there to be only one type of woman: thin, tall, sexy, and flawless in every way possible. This seems to be the way the media portrays as the ideal woman; from cosmetics to hair care, body washes, clothing, skin care, and many other beauty product commercials. Because of this, women all over the country are beginning to believe that if they don’t obtain that look, then they’re not beautiful. They want to become and look like that model they see in the Victoria’s Secret catalog or that hot actress on the hit TV drama.


This unrealistic and unattainable view of beauty is having an impact on women all over the nation. It’s not only affecting adults, but also taking a toll on the younger generation. According to a women’s health website, in 2003, Teen magazine reported that 50-70% of girls aged between 6-12 years considered themselves to be overweight when they were actually at their normal healthy weight. Also, many of girls’ toys have to do with make-up and accessorizing.


The impact that the media is having on women is dramatic. They wake up, look in the mirror, and target every imperfection that they have and think they’re not beautiful, and because of this, their self-esteem and confidence decreases. They begin to feel insecure and start buying every product that promises them beauty in order to hide away those flaws. Women who are insecure about their body statistics tend to buy more of these beauty and weight loss products. This can lead to an unhealthy weight obsession which can cause eating disorders like anorexia. Women need to stop thinking this way and start realizing that what they see in these ads isn’t reality. They need to start becoming confidant about themselves.


Loving oneself and having pride in what they look like is the first step to building that confidence and increasing one’s self esteem. Women shouldn’t be filling their heads with negative thoughts about themselves. I’m too fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happier if I were shorter, taller, had a smaller nose, longer hair, plump lips. Enough! Just look at yourself and see what’s beautiful about YOU, both inside and out! Don’t compare yourself to some model you see on Vogue who, by the way, is most likely air brushed by Photoshop. Remember, there IS such thing as 150 pounds of beauty! So don’t be afraid to wear what flatters YOUR body the most and go out and show off your curves. If you have it, work it.Can you please proof read my article?
I suggest you learn to write better by using this simple technique that works and will help you get a good grade on your essay and future essays. I won't rewrite your essay as you will be better off rewriting it yourself.


Start off your essay by telling them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them. This works every time and I have done some long essays and got A's on all of them using this method of writing which was told to me by my seventh grade teacher and stayed with me for the rest of my life and I am now 70 years old and I still write well, at least most of the time.Can you please proof read my article?
I suggest you learn to write better by using this simple technique that works and will help you get a good grade on your essay and future essays. I won't rewrite your essay as you will be better off rewriting it yourself.


Start off your essay by telling them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them. This works every time and I have done some long essays and got A's on all of them using this method of writing which was told to me by my seventh grade teacher and stayed with me for the rest of my life and I am now 70 years old and I still write well, at least most of the time.
Don't forget the shady corprate as mixed in with political reasons, ways of beauty.
What is beauty? The answer to this question is different with every person asked, and the definition of the word is changing more and more every day. Beauty is defined as “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.” However, this definition does not seem to fit as much as it should in today’s world of advertisements.


We are living in an ad filled society, and every day we see thousands of them on television and in magazines that shows only one type of woman: thin, tall, sexy, and flawless in every way possible. This seems to be the way the media portrays the ideal woman; from cosmetics to hair care, body washes, clothing, skin care, and many other beauty product commercials. Because of this, women all over the country are beginning to believe that if they don’t obtain that look, then they are not beautiful. They want to become and look like that model they see in the Victoria’s Secret catalog or that hot actress on the hit TV drama.


This unrealistic and unattainable view of beauty is having an impact on women all over the nation. It is not only affecting adults, but also taking a toll on the younger generation. According to a women’s health website, in 2003, Teen magazine reported that 50-70% of girls aged between 6-12 years considered themselves to be overweight when they were actually at their normal healthy weight. Also, many of girls’ toys have to do with make-up and accessorizing.


The impact that the media is having on women is dramatic. They wake up, look in the mirror, and target every imperfection that they have and think they are not beautiful, and because of this, their self-esteem and confidence decreases. They begin to feel insecure and start buying every product that promises them beauty in order to hide away those flaws. Women who are insecure about their body statistics tend to buy more of these beauty and weight loss products. This can lead to an unhealthy weight obsession, which can cause eating disorders like anorexia. Women need to stop thinking this way and start realizing that what they see in these ads is not reality. They need to start becoming confident about themselves.


Loving oneself and having pride in what they look like is the first step to building that confidence and increasing one’s self esteem. Women should not be filling their heads with negative thoughts about themselves. “I’m too fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happier if I were shorter, taller, had a smaller nose, longer hair, plump lips.” Enough! Just look at yourself and see what’s beautiful about YOU, both inside and out! Don’t compare yourself to some model you see in Vogue who, by the way, is most likely air brushed in Photoshop. Remember, there IS such thing as 150 pounds of beauty! So don’t be afraid to wear what flatters YOUR body the most and go out and show off your curves. If you have it, work it.








All I did was reword part of a sentence, fix the spelling of confident and made it a little more formal.


Sounds good.