Struggling for others acceptance?

I have a severe hearing loss (85 dB), that I have had since I was about 2 and that has gotten progressively worse. I'm mainstreamed, which makes it really hard. I went to our local school for the Deaf for a while, which I loved, but then we moved, and it takes an hour and a half to drive there from my new house, so I have no choice. I wear hearing aids, but I still miss a lot of what is said, even with lip reading. Also, everyone knows about it because I have to wear these big things that hang off the back of my ears, and if I want to wear my hair up, they are really noticeable. And, even though they all know I am hard of hearing, they still don't look at me when they are speaking. I know a fair bit of ASL and am very proficient at SEE (signed english), and in speech therapy we use cued speech, so I am ok at that too. None of my hearing friends know ANY sign (except one, who can sign slowly, but doesn't read sign), and they don't want to learn, and I only go to see my Deaf friends once or twice a month.





My hearing loss is a result of an autoimmune disease, so I also have juvenile arthritis, which is easier to hide than my hearing, but still causes a lot of difficulties for me. My body gets stiff sitting in classes, it is hard to get to my next class on time, and I completely fail at PE. My knees are also really damaged and a lot of times I end up having to hobble around with crutches. I think everyone sees me as a freak of nature, and most of the other kids don't want to be seen with me.





I just don't understand why the kids at school can't accept me for me. What can I do to help the other kids see me as just another one of their peers, and not some kind of freak?Struggling for others acceptance?
Thanks for answering my other question, I'll try and help you. Okay, just so you know I'm hearing, so I'm taking a shot in the dark, so sorry if I offend you somehow.





My advice about you communication barriers with friends, I'll I can say is keep trying, those people that don't want to learn how to sign aren't really your friends, but you just moved there so maybe try and find some people who will learn basic conversations even though they'll be super slow for you.





Or you can try texting them because you obviously can type, some teenager text faster then they talk, so that could be a good way to get some dialogue going.





They took me out of PE in elementary school, I didn't ask, they just did, maybe it's because disability is more visible then yours. Ask them to let you out 5 minutes early of every class, so you can get to your next one, (you should probably get a signed note from your therapist or doctor backing you up) I can't see how they can deny you when you have a proven mobility issue. It's what I do, I don't have to fight in the halllway jams anymore!





And ask if there's an alternative to PE I don't know the rules in your province (I'm Canadian too!) In mine we do PE, and French in Grade 9 I did a filler course for PE. But the school was under construction that year, so all the French classes were in portables which I couldn't get into, so I got put in a Grade 10 course.





I still have no French credit and they said they can make me exempt, but I don't have that kind of luck, so I'll probably have come back for a semester just to get a language...





I've got the same problem with having a walker at school, like I said you just got to keep trying and talking to people. I used to shut myself away, but we both need human contact, so i'm just now starting to come out of my shell.





If they ask about your disablity tell them what your comfortable saying, you don't want them to think disablity is something to run from do you? But stupid questions you can just ignore, or be sarcastic if you want.





If you want search ';able bodied disability understand' on here, and the first question that comes up is mine from about a month ago, the answers really helped me when I was bummed out, our problems aren't exactly the same, but maybe it can help you feel better too.





Hope I helped!Struggling for others acceptance?
Gabrielle,


What country are you from? I am a disabled teacher from the USA and I would be glad to assist in any way that I can about your disability and searching through your rights as a student who is disabled. I also believe that you should begin to look for friends who also have some type of shortcomings. Whether they are disabled or just outcasts they generally are more loving and accepting of people with disabilities. I find that many young people who are ';beutiful'; and perfect are not accepting of others at your age (sadly). I feel the PE Requirement may be eased with the disability and a physician's assistance no matter what area you are from and I believe that if/when I look at the educational system's laws that we can find an answer to that problem. Have a great week.


Thanks,


Eds


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You should see if you can get a note from your rheumetologist to reduce your work load in PE. You should not be made to do things that are physically damaging to you. You should also not be penalized in grading for this. Also, meet with school officials about giving you more time to go between classes. A few minutes for someone who has trouble moving is a perfectly reasonable accommodation. The Americans With Disabilities Act means that you deserve these things under federal law. However, you seem to have a strong desire to not be singled out from your peers, which you may be if you insist on proper accommodation.





As to your hearing friends, a good exercise might be to tell them to watch a TV show with the volume off (or perhaps extremely low) and no closed captioning. Tell them that this is the level of struggle that you go through when you try to understand and communicate with them. Have some sympathy for the one who has learned to sign but is still slow. I know it is a pain to deal with the snail pace, but it takes some time to learn and get good at any language. Encourage this person to sign more and they will probably build up speed better. As to the other ones, it is pretty selfish to refuse to learn to communicate with your friends.
Kids can be very very cruel.


What I do know after living a number of years,is that your personality is the deciding factor and will take you further than anything else.


That goes for anybody.Your personality can and will make true friends.Lasting friends.I wish you well.Take heart and be yourself.
When I was in high school it took me 2 years to be accepted and I鈥檓 thankful for that. Having a communication problem is a really big deal its going to be difficult to make non deaf friends and even more difficult to get a tolerable position in the social structure of the school.





Your best bet is to (as already mentioned) associate with other disabled kids. Otherwise ask you doctor about braces rather than crutches also there are a lot of hearing aids out there that are more fashionable and non noticeable to wear google cool hearing aids then click on images.





If you are able to do exercise at all do it( I mean it, and stick to it religiously). You don鈥檛 have to powerlift 鈥ind a routine you can do and just exercise as much as possible and get into shape. Dress well, dress a little sexy if you can get way with it. stay well groomed. In high school looking good is everything socially, your disability will preclude you from the upper echelons of the social structure. But if you look good people will be much more accepting of you.





Be aware of how you react to things always keep a mature adult attitude about people especially if theyre acting immature or theyre making fun of you or putting you down don鈥檛 loose your sense of humor or be to sensitive about any kind of social negativities.





You can hide your physical shortcomings but also be as open about them as possible and be able to laugh at yourself or even make fun of yourself this gives you a lot of power.





The good news is that if you go to college it will be a lot easier for you
I understand exactly how you feel. I was never accepted either when I was in school due to have a speech impairment, epilepsy, and a learning disability. As I later learned, the reason why the kids at my school never accepted me was because their parents has not bothered to teach their kids right from wrong. Just like me, as long as their parents ignore their children's bad behavior there is nothing much you can do. The only thing you can do is give it your best, graduate from school, attend/ graduate college, find yourself a good paying job, buy a nice house, meet yourself a person who loves you from who you are, start yourself a caring family, and teach your children right from wrong.
This is one of the worst situations you can be in. When I started at my current school 5 years ago, I was wearing a big metal halo, so everyone in my year was scarred of me. If you start to think that you will never be accepted, you won't because you'll have lost your confidence and that'll show. It sounds horribly cliched but you have to 'fake it until you make it'. My hearing has got worse, I generally come home from school in a bad mood. Although I was off school for a half a year, so its only really my friends now who would talk to me. This has improved my marks in school because if no one is bothering me during class I can get my work done faster. Ask if you could possibly get a smaller hearing aid, I may be getting one and saw a small blue that you don't see unless you take it out, you can tie your hair up. I think when you're under eighteen, your ears will grow a lot, so you should get it replaced every two years.


Hope this helps
Wow, a lengthy write. Well, I have no complaint about it so whatever.





A response to your first paragraph.





Meh, be thankful that you have hearing aids. A good advice is training your hearing. Do you want to improve your quality of life, right? Then, it is worth to training your ear, memorize familiar sounds, and talk properly. The most important part about it is CONFIDENCE and MOTIVATION! Believe me, you won't regret it. Also... forget those sign language. They are useless because nobody will learn it so whatever. Those Deaf friends you mention... they aren't worth. Deaf people tends to make bad rumours, totally selfish, and influence negative to your environment. A true friend would keep a touch with you everyday. Believe me, my **** life is much worse than yours.





A response to your second paragraph.





Honestly, you made me really mad. Why didn't you inform your teacher about your disability? Isn't it teacher's responsibility to help you? As for that **** kids, the easier method to do is IGNORE those **** kids. Think about ';Ignorance is a Blissful'; and your life will much easier. God, why can't you **** care a little more about yourself???





A response to your third paragraph.





Hmm, let's see... a best way to describe a hearing person: Arrogant, Selfish, Picky, Disgust at Disability, worse Attitude. Look, you should know better. Hearing people don't give a **** about ASL, SEE, and Deaf culture. It isn't easier to make a peer with other students. They will stare at you because of that hearing aids, not you as a person. You should know what the other **** hearing people refuse to change it.





In short, think all about yourself and excluded everything around you except the people who truly care you with respectful treatment.





If you thumb me up, then wow. You should know the harsh reality where you cannot trust with anyone except yourself. If you thumb me down, then thank you! You will only make me please more.