Where can I buy a shield that protects me from anteaters and Fog?

Anteaters are the devil and they are the number one cause of hair loss in 23 states. Fog is just really hard to drive in and I keep getting lost and ending up at my boyfriends house and my husband gets all mad . Please help ...and please be nice I am sensitiveWhere can I buy a shield that protects me from anteaters and Fog?
Sometimes I doubt that you are as awesome as you say you are. I know for a fact (because I checked wikipedia) that awesome people have a built-in shield against fog, anteaters, undercooked pork, and paper cuts. But because you are sensitive, I would just like to say that those new elbow pads look dynamite on you.Where can I buy a shield that protects me from anteaters and Fog?
WELL I HAVE A FREIND IN CHINATOWN THAT SELLS EVERYTHING
WalMart
Target, the camping and outdoors aisle.
FOG A BUNCH OF ANTEATERS. FOG 'EM I SAY!