He says things like this.... Does he just get off on making me cry? Please Help!!!?

My fiance has always been a little ruder and more insensitive than most guys i've dated, and it's caused arguments between us quite often. He is the outspoken and somewhat mean type, and i'm nice and always try to be the peace maker...I guess we balance each other out. Anyway, some of the things he says is just downright cruel and I don't always feel like I can turn to him when I have issues going on. When my grandfather died, I was hesitant to tell him...just because I didn't want to break down crying in front of him. He doesn't handle crying well at all and would just as soon leave as he would deal with me crying. Anyway he knew my grandfather was ill but when he came over that night, I told him that he'd died earlier that morning. His comment? ';Whoa you just came back from seeing him, you must have killed him';. Then he kind of laughed uncomfortably. I didn't know what to say because I was honestly at a loss for words, and he left soon after. This happened awhile back when my grandfather passed, but it's just gives you an idea of the kind of things he said. Most recently I told him that I was thinking about getting my hair cut shorter. He then tells me that I would look like a toad if I do! So needless to say, I am not getting it cut. He has also called me a ';piglet'; before. Etc. etc. This list goes on and on. I know that he thought it was funny, and I am sure some of you probably will too, but it's not funny to me. It's very hurtful. I have tried talking to him and getting angry at him but he is the type to NEVER apologize, even if he is in the wrong, so I just don't even bother anymore. Please advise me on what to do about this? We aren't getting married for awhile but I really can't deal with his cruelty anymore because it's hurting me and our relationship. How do I just get him to stop???He says things like this.... Does he just get off on making me cry? Please Help!!!?
Frankly my dear, he sounds like a flipping ahole. Please don't marry someone like this!He says things like this.... Does he just get off on making me cry? Please Help!!!?
There are some guys who are hard outside and soft inside, but this type than will not be much talkative. Above all if guy loves a girl, if knows that his comment disturbs you than he will not comment, he will not make you cry.
He's a friggen mental abuser! You need to dump him!
Do what he tells you and be happy we are lucky that we have men who want to take care of us
What a jerk, you deserve better.
OMG you are soo pathetically naive. This guy is totally disgusting. Consider yourself lucky, you havent married him yet and you dont have to.





The way he responded to your grandfather dying is so unbelievably incomprehensible i dont even know how you rationalize it to yourself. do u really want him to be the father of your children. you children will never truly respect you for marrying this type of person. i know from experience
Blossom, I have news for you. You don't ';just get him to stop.'; Dating, and engagements, are all about learning who a person is. This is the person you will marry if you choose. You can't change people. And you may have had some fun times--particularly when the relationship was new and you didn't know much about him--but that doesn't mean that he's a good guy to spend your life with. And think about this: do you want to have kids with a guy who acts like this? If he makes you cry, he will be a terrible father. You don't want to give your kids a rotten father, do you? It will only cause you more pain.





I have no idea why you've spent so much time with this guy, but you really should ask yourself. Maybe get with a therapist. Because he could even be an abuser after awhile; verbal abuse is how it starts.





Get out now.
Why do you want to marry a man who has no respect for you?this is how you stop,tell him you dont want to be with him any more.If he is like this now how about when you get married?it will be worse.I can sence that this man will continue to look you down.Maybe its because you are not doing anything.leave!
If you have been together for any extended amount of time you knew he was like this. I'm not going to say it's your fault and it's not his fault either. It's both... you for not standing up to him for yourself, and him for not thinking of your feelings when he says such asinine things. From the sounds of it he's not going to change at all or any time soon. So you have a choice here or lets say a few choices. You can leave him and tell him you can't take it anymore and leave it at that. You can stay and stick your head in the sand. Or you can stand up to him and tell him it's about time that he knock it off. The more times he does these things and you stay quiet or cry or what ever it is... and don't tell him it was terrible and mean and not to ever do it again he thinks he can get away with it. You need to show him he can't. It's the only way your relationship is going to survive.
he kind of sounds like my guy lol the thing is, I know my guy is only kidding when he says these things. (although, he'd never have been mean to me about my grandpa dying) but he will sometimes call me a little ';piggy';. Which, considering i only weigh about 108 lbs I know he's kidding.. and i don't think he realizes that it hurts my feeligns sometimes. I can only recall him apologizing twice in the two years we've been together as well. He can also be rude and downright mean sometimes, but what I've realized is he is almost always joking.. it's a bad sense of humor if you ask me.. but it's still just a joke to him. I just learned to not take him so seriously and to just laugh it off.. now his comments don't bother me anymore.





I've also talked to him about it and he even told me himself that he is only joking and that I take him too seriously. I dunno if it's the same with your fiance but it might be. It's not right or healthy for him to treat you like this, but if you can learn to brush it off and not take it seriously (like I did) then you'll be fine. If you can't deal with it or if you don't think he's kidding than you need to realize that he's never going to change.. if anything he'll get worse. you just need to figure out if you can deal with it or not.





good luck!
Blossom, None of these things he has said and done are funny. Just because you are engaged to him doesn't mean you have to marry him. That's what an engagement is. It is time for you to decide if you want to be married to this person. Just really think about what you are doing. You will never change this man and he could become worse with age. If your thinking of having children, would you want him saying these awful things to your little daughter or son and making them cry? I think you need to find a mate that is a little more sensitive. Obviously this really bothers you or you would not be writing about it. It would bother me too. Just remember that there are millions of men out there and millions that would never say anything to make you cry.