I need people to croquet my writing please.?

ell me what you think it is only part of it and is in the middle of it but tell me what you think please bad or good be honest thank you.





We had started to walk again and turned down a long hallway that was rowed with pictures of two families: one with a little girl and a tall women and tall men and one with a little boy with a tall women and tall man. Then further down the hall there was a door that was opened that was dark but I was still able to see in it from the little light that seeped in from the hallway. Before Z’ve could have stopped me something pulled me into the room like something deep inside me that said that I needed to witness what was in the room. “No, trust me that is no place you want to be in please don’t Victoria please!” It was too late though I had already turned on the light and gasped and fell to the floor once I saw what was there. Pictures everywhere of a car at the bottom of a hill crumbled up and dented all over. There were also pieces of the car as well as the pictures. And then there was the two pictures that made my head hurt and heart ache it caused me more pain then when Z’ve had ripped the arrows out of my legs. I got up from the floor and walked over to the two pictures that I felt so connected to. I took the first one off the wall and held it. I could tell it was the man in the picture with the little girl in it. But in this picture of the man he was dead. You could tell he was pale white from the loss of blood from being in the crash. You could clearly see the gash the glass from one of the windows caused. The man also must have lost an arm in the crash because his one was detached from his body. There was blood all around the man. I put the first picture back and picked up the second on. This one sent a shock through my body (like a electrical one that actually hurts) and it caused me to fall to the ground with a scream and I shuddered for a minute while Z’ve was over me making sure I wasn’t hurt and that everything was ok with me. “Maybe we should leave umm get you to your room?” I looked over at him he had his arm around me and was kneeling on the ground. Then I looked back down when I asked him the question. “This, these people, they are……are my….my par…parents?” I lifted my head back up and I knew they were I could just tell the women and man had red eyes so I just knew. I was crying and didn’t care anymore the boy grabbed me in a hug and slowly took the picture away from me but before he got it fully away from me something took it away for him. An arrow went flying through the air and caught the picture and pinned it on the wall. Z’ve sprang up in front of me to face the young boy holding a bow and arrow. He had a smirk on his face like he had finally won his prize. “Ranna, what do you want you are not welcome here.” Z’ve spoke to him so calmly and the boy who shot the arrow just laughed. “That’s what you say my old friend but the girl cannot go back I won’t allow it. Either you give her to me or you die and she goes free but you two cannot be together.” Z’ve looked back at me and there was sorrow in his eyes and I knew what he was going to do and I couldn’t let him. “Kill me then.” The boy laughed and smiled at me and pulled up his arrow and I ran in front of Z’ve as the arrow was shot and pushed him out of the way before it reached him or me. “Oh little Victoria, if you are using that name still, you look so different I miss you flowing black hair but I see you have gotten red eyes again. Isn’t that sweet?” I scowled at him and I felt something inside of me that fighting was what I had to do. “Oh the little warrior is finding her soul again and figured out she is a fighter. Hmmmm…how can we fix that Victoria? Oh I have a smart idea how about we just give you a choice then?” I walked up to him but before I reached him Z’ve grabbed my arm pulled me back. “Z’ve let the girl find her choices first then you can say goodbye.” I looked at him and for the first time he looked frightened. “Choice one give me that necklace that your soul went into when your mothers death registered with you and you realized you couldn’t stay yourself or die.” It hit me then when he said that, that my soul left because of him. “Ok I chose the first one just please give me a chance to say goodbye to Z’ve alone please.” I looked into his eyes and thought I saw a flash of regret but I had to be wrong. “Fine, you have five minutes alone.” He said it in such a harsh voice I knew he didn’t regret this. I pull Z’ve into the hall. When I turned around to talk to him he grabbed me and begged me not to do this. “Calm down. I’m not giving him my soul he is going to set it free to me. I know how it left but now I need the person who caused it to leave to set it free and that is him. I know that the minute he tries to destroy it, it will be set free and come to me Z’ve. He will leave once it happens trust me he will.” He started to shake his heI need people to croquet my writing please.?
English as a second language?





or just a troll with a sense of humor?I need people to croquet my writing please.?
Croquet?? Don't you mean critique??


*edit* mlee...don't you mean english as your 10th language lol
i like it. finish it! love the name z've very creative and unique!