You have power.
You can make changes.
Consider rehab.Saying ';I love you'; everytime you leave a loved one?
With my grandparents, it was a sweet habit, kissing goodbye every time they started the car....understandable if you'd ever seen grandpa drive.
For you, you are currently ill - very ill. See a Dr, even if you need to go to the hospital Emergency Room
Rehab (inpatient or outpatient, just something) and counseling, because something's not right. So either you can sit around and let your fears come true, or you can do something about it. It's your call, but my vote goes to getting some help! :)
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